Not Knowing
A poem written after my husband suffered a near fatal heart attack.
I blow a kiss goodbye
As they wheel him down the hall.
I’m left in a space of not knowing.
I stare at my phone as if it could talk to me
And give me the answer I yearn to hear -
That he will be all right.
I wander aimlessly from bedroom to living room and back again
And fill my time with mindless tasks
As I try to avoid the not-knowing space.
My cat now purrs beside me with knowing sad eyes.
I let go, feeling her loving warmth and relax into open spaciousness -
Where everything is possible.